Wiiing My Way Into The Sunset

Well, we are selling our home and moving into a 55 and older community.

There are two reasons I like a 55 and older community. One, all yard work that this poor bastard once did, will now be done by some other poor bastard. And, two, it guarantees that we have a legal excuse to say “no” to any hard-luck relative or relative with kids who asks to “temporarily” move in; which has happened in the past. (Sorry, we were not the best at saying no, not to mention they were not the best at staying “temporarily.”)

One retirement community that is on our list is one of those developments that has assisted living available if needed. Though certainly not needed now, with us pushing 70, realistically a little help may not be that far off. After several guided tours we’re leaning toward renting, rather than buying. At our age, owning a home with all their responsibilities no longer sounds appealing. But there is one small turd floating around in this blissful pool of retirement. They have community events…Let me reword that. They have community events for old people. I’m sorry, let me reword that. They have community events for “really” old people. Actually, the events are also for those younger residence, but it seems only the older folks attend. And after witnessing a few get-togethers I can understand why. My wife, however, squealed with delight, which didn’t surprise me. She is a social bee by nature. Sorry, I’m not. It required every fiber of my being to force my lips to curl up into a weak smile. Wonderful! Here is a sample package shown us….

1. Card parties–Outside of gambling, I am not a card person, especially when playing with people who require reminding from time to time as to what card game is being played, not to mention how to play.

2. Exercising–They lift weights that I believe are a stick with a foam ball on each end. The exercise regiment becomes less strenuous from there. Now don’t get me wrong. If you have read a fraction of my posts you’d already know I’m not a big fan of exercising. In fact I once strained a muscle while stretching to keep from…straining a muscle. But I refuse to go to a social gabfest under the pretense of it being physical exercise.

3. Happy Hour–Alright! Now that is not only an activity I enjoy, but one I am actually quite good at. In fact, if possible, I could become a group instructor. Unfortunately, our guide invited us to such an event. It quickly went down hill from there. The most exciting conversations explored everything from who just died, to asking anyone’s thoughts concerning the newest pocket catheters. I couldn’t even get a buzz on no matter how many doubles I belted down. And, now that I think about it, my arm-neck jerk were probably more strenuous than their exercise program.

4. Sports–They offer competition bowling, golf, and tennis. Unfortunately the games are being played on a big screen television, using a Wii. I could hardly contain my excitement! Believing they were really putting a cherry on the pie, and knowing my love of fishing, they also mentioned there was a fishing tournament game I could play. Goody! Nothing like sitting in a computerized bass boat when I have the real thing sitting in my garage. Decisions! Decisions!

5. Ball room dancing classes–I thought my wife was going to wet herself with excitement. Of course by then I had my belt off, looped around my neck and was looking for the nearest open rafter.

6. Excursion Buses–A chauffeur to drive me to the mall or the nearest casino. Between that and someone else mowing the lawn and weeding the flower beds…and, oh yes, a two-car garage where the wife can park her car and I can park my bass boat, I’ll use my bag of tricks to get out of the rest. Of course my tricks never work. But that doesn’t deter me from trying.

Well, we haven’t done it yet, but I will keep my six faithful followers posted…..

 

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15 thoughts on “Wiiing My Way Into The Sunset

  1. Wow…I’d really think twice about moving into one of those communities, especially if you own your present house without a mortgage. Financially, I think you are better off staying in your own home as long as possible (if, you have no mortgage). Mowing the lawn is a true pain in the ass, but twice a month gardeners come cheap, as do a lot of other services. Once you move into on of those all inclusive communities: condo, assisted living and then convalescent care, you’re locked in until the end. Sounds depressing to me. I’d talk to a number of folks that have done so and see what their experience has been. May not be all that much fun and games.

    • Unfortunately, staying in this big of a home is not an option. My wife’s joint are only getting worse, making it harder and harder to climb the stairs, not to mention the upkeep both inside and out. Simply put, at our age, owning a home and its responsibilities is something we no longer care to continue doing. So we are going to move inot a smaller, single story home. And it will be a move into a 55 and older community. They’re gated, safe and quiet. Though not assisted living, three of my wife’s friends live in a 55 and over location and love it. But you can bet we’re not going remain in a location we end up disliking. And that is the nice part about renting.

  2. I think that it is great that you are thinking of taking some of the strain from your wife and letting by seeking professional help. I am quite sure that she will feel a lot more relaxed not to mention that there will be someone to ensure that you do not go off your meds again. The thought of the two of you dancing the night away brings a tear to my eye. As far as activities you forgot to mention croquet, which I understand is big in the senior community. I totally see her point in wanting to relax knowing that you will be looked after probably puts her mind at ease. Please drop us a line when you relocate and be sure to include the days and hours visitors are allowed so that we can plan a fun and memorable visit.

    • Thanks Mikey for your heart-warming comment. But I have a better idea. You can dance the night away with Maxine, and I’ll get a tear in my eye. Anyway, it won’t be for a while yet. Tell sis hi, and keep us posted on how she’s doing.

  3. After telling my wife the news, I returned to look the my last post, and after reading the first sentence I am not to sure that I should not look for help myself.
    Ya know one of the good things that I have found about growing older is that you get a good chance to laugh at yourself. Now next week I will give a lecture on sentence structure.

  4. Oh, get outta here! You gotta have more than 6 followers by now with all that humor spilling out of you. Well, I’m not looking forward to moving into a retirement community anytime soon after reading that. So thanks for the heads up! Lol.

    • Okay, maybe I have seven followers. But you have to remember, it takes a twisted sense of humor, not to mention a healthy imagination to swallow down what I usually post…nothing personal, you understand. And that also applies to the retirement community thing. I may have stretched the facts just a little. They’re actually kind of nice. Besides, old people tend to me easily amused, which is my kind of audience.

      • I automatically assume you’re stretching the facts somewhat in your entire blog. That’s why it’s hilarious, too. But I get your meaning behind it all. Have fun in the new home!

  5. You’ve outdone yourself on this one Richard. I was laughing out loud throughout it. I was actually wondering where you were going to keep your bass boat, but then you assured us that you would have a 2 car garage. I guess you’ll just have to give up your car eh.
    🙂

    • When touring the inside of each community home, my attention span is just a little longer than a cold tater tot. That’s the wife’s responsibility. My only interest is a safe and secure place to store my boat and its equipment. Namely, my man cave, a two-car garage. Just like here, mama’s car takes one side, my boat the other, and my truck is parked outside. Knowing my boat and gear is safe and secure, and ready at a moment’s notice is the only requirement I ask for.

  6. It’s the humor that keeps you young! Try Yoga on the Wii, it’s amazing. It’ll balance your mind for whenever your bus trip is cancelled because 85 year old Beatrix forgot her dentures.

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