Boot Camp Humor-Part 1

A friend who I haven’t seen in quite awhile called me yesterday. We had attended high school together, and after graduating joined the Air Force and went through boot camp together. While reminiscing about boot camp, it brought several humorous stories to memory. Here is one I like to call, “Just Sayin’ What Everyone Else Was Thinkin’.”

While in boot camp we had to take self defense training. Part of that training was the use of a bayonet. We were issued old M-14 rifles that looked as though they hadn’t been fired in years, and didn’t have a clip of ammo in them to find out if they would. Of course with the combat training needed to be in the Air Force, someone would have probably shot themselves in the foot anyway. Each was equipped with a bayonet, and we ran around charging these hanging canvas bags, stabbing them while giving out boisterous yells. After several minutes of terrorizing these burlap bags, the sergeant gathered us around.

“Men,” he bellowed, “if you come apon the situation where your bayonet becomes lodge between the ribs of the enemy and cannot be dislodged, simply put one foot on the enemy’s chest, then fire one round while jerking back on the rifle at the same time.”

Several of the recruits gave each other quick glances, showing the revulsion of such an act. Of course no one spoke a word. In boot camp you didn’t speak unless spoken to. The sergeant must have picked up on the looks. “Is there a problem with that, you bunch of pussies?” he screamed.

After a couple seconds a tall string-bean of a fellow from South Carolina reluctantly spoke up in his slow southern drawl. “Beggin’ your pardon sir. I don’t know about the rest of the fellers here bein’ pussies and all, but if I have any bullets left in my rifle, I don’t plan on usin’ my bayonet.”

Now mind you, like talking without permission, laughing brought immediate punishment. But it only took one snicker somewhere back in the ranks, and the laughter could not be held back. And much to our relief, though the sergeant tried desperately to hold back and give us a good reaming, it was no use. He finally threw his arms up and turned his back to us as if disgusted, but we could see his shoulders shaking.


6 thoughts on “Boot Camp Humor-Part 1

  1. Yes they do. With only a couple, three days left in boot camp, rules and regulations loosened up a lot. By then our two sergeants were just one of the guys, and all the yelling and screaming and scaring the living bejeesus out of all of us was just a job that required very good acting.

  2. Its a good thing I never joined the military, I just cannot stand being shouted at. You read what happened with that Chinese army officer in my book. If he’d said please then I’d have been much more cooperative, and bringing riflemen in to threaten me just made me laugh.
    Perhaps the military wouldn’t be as effective if they said “Excuse me old chap, would you mind terribly going over there and getting shot at?”

    • Like I told you when I finished reading your book, in the paper it said that the North Korean military forced 10,000 people into an arena and forced them to watch 80 people strapped to poles and executed with machine guns. Some did nothing more than being found with South Korean videos or Bibles. And as far as I’m concerned, once you’ve seen one communist soldier, you’ve seen them all.

  3. Obviously you were in the Army. I hope it wasn’t during Viet Nam. I joined just ahead of being drafted. And because Viet Nam was going hot and heavy I joined the Air Force. It cost me four years in the Air Force instead of two years in the Army, but I did not relish being shot at. I did go to Viet Nam, but the closest I ever came to battle was an occasional mortar round, which was never near where I was at, and the distant sounds of weapons.

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