I will admit I have pulled some ill-advised stunts in my life, which my wife is more than happy to attest to. But, like I told her, I have no control over them. These strange ideas began creeping into my thoughts long before she came into my life. In fact they began embedding themselves into my physiological makeup before I was old enough to sprout pimples. The following is one of those lame-brained, stupid, asinine, what-were-you-thinking, but otherwise brilliant ideas I came up with. I will break it up into two parts. Here is the first episode.